I leave for my mission in less than a week... LESS THAN A WEEK! I'm supposed to be writing my farewell talk, so of course it sounded like the perfect time to set up a blog.
"Dear Sister Lord, You've been called to the Nicaragua Managua South mission, you will be speaking Spanish. You will enter the Provo MTC Feb 18, 2015."
I had 7 weeks to prepare. I couldn't wait for this day to come! But now it's here, and I wish I could send it away. I am absolutely terrified! All of my reasons are super duper selfish. "I'm not qualified. I don't have the testimony everybody else goes in with." "What if I don't feel the spirit?" and "What if I don't like it?!"
My dearest Co-Worker gave me some pretty powerful scriptures today, the first one:
2 Timothy 1:7. "For God hath not given us the spirit of fear, but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind."
She reminded me that I know who the fear is coming from. And it isn't from Heavenly Father. To go hand in hand she pulled out this other scripture from her brilliant memory (she should really be the one going on a mission, not me, but I digress)
Joshua 1:9 "Have not I commanded thee? Be strong and of a good courage; be not afraid, neither be thou dismayed: for the Lord thy God is with thee whithersoever thou goest"
So yeah. Case closed. Fear is stupid, because I know that I'm not alone. Even if I may feel very alone, God is always with me. "Yeah yeah, that's all well and nice, but my situation is different." the stupid nagging voice in my head tries to tell me. And the truth is nobody knows exactly what I'm going through, the same way I can never step into somebody else's problems and worries. Nobody, except one person. Our Savior. He has literally bourn all of our pain and suffering. Physically, emotionally, spiritually... everything! Not one single person is more qualified to tell us that we can get through it. And he has. Multiple times. It is noted six times in the New Testament alone to "Be of good cheer". Direct commandment for our Savior.
But it's super hard. I don't want to. I'd rather just wallow in my misery than try to change my attitude. That's kind of what I've been doing the last for forever. So that's why I'm going on a mission. That's why the Lord knew I needed to be called to Nicaragua. To humble me. To make me humble enough to be taught. He and I know that I'm too stubborn to quit, and hopefully not too far gone to let this dramatically change my life. Although a mission is fully my decision, and I am not being pressured by my parents or anything, I am definitely being pressured by our Heavenly Father. Because we both know this is what is going to make Kylie better. I can only fulfill my full potential by doing this.
So yeah. Here I go. The countdown begins! 6 days 14 hours and 30 minutes. Ready or not.
Wednesday, February 11, 2015
My Motto
I named my blog accordingly: because I firmly believe it. We all take ourselves so seriously on this crazy spinning ball in the middle of space. I know that this time is crucial, it will really create who we will become, but it's more crucial to have some perspective. We mustn't get so caught up in our lives. Some things may seem important, that aren't. Other things we take for granted, that we shouldn't. We make mistakes, we live, we grow. In five years we won't remember that we tripped up the stairs in front of a guy we like, or that one quiz you totally forgot about and ended up failing. We just keep living, trying everyday to be a little better, and that is all we can do.
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